The messages INSIDE are MORE IMPORTANT than the messages OUTSIDE.
A couple of weeks ago, I started getting messages from someone I sort of knew a long time ago. I think they must be going through a hard time and feeling alone, because every day, she would send a picture of herself with red eyes, puffy cheeks, and the question “am I worthy?”
Yeah. Isn’t that the question we are all asking? Maybe in more sophisticated and disguised ways — but in the end we all want to know — am I worthy?
I have worked hard for my whole life so that when I had to ask that question, I would see a “YES!” in the yes of the person I was using to give me value. It’s a lot of hard work with no guarantees.
Do you know what . . . No amount of work or achievement makes anyone worthy. Worth is not earned. It’s intrinsic. It’s the foundation of our existence. It is established. Fixed. Unmovable.
What is movable, is us. It has only been in the last year that I have realized that all the messages around me are WAY less important than the messages inside me. Someone said to meditate, so I did. All I heard for months and months in my head were lies about my value. And I sat. I watched those lies pass in front of me, and I’d greet them, name them. I’d say “I see you — hello fear that I’m not good enough. Hello shame that I play sport and don’t know much about make-up and how can I teach my daughters…” And on and on it went, day after day, month after month. Messages of fear and value and regret. I greeted them and watched them, sort of like cars in a parade. They pass by. I never flagged them down and asked them if I could get in. I never defended myself or said it wasn’t fair. I just watched them and showed my thoughts I wasn’t afraid to know them.
After a while, the messages got quieter and settled down into nothing. I would wait, and none would come. I could start to watch even positive things happening in my mind, even messages of love for myself… forgiveness.
Our minds are filled with messages. And we get to choose which ones to believe and which ones to let go. The hardest part, I think, is realizing that the THOUGHTS not not irrefutable TRUTHS. They are just thoughts.
My friend, if you believe you are lovable, you will receive love and feel loved. If you BELIEVE you are not lovable, every attempt at love towards you will be rejected by the messages in your mind and FALL FLAT in front of you — proof to you that what you believe is true.
Dare. Watch your thoughts without being afraid. They might yell, scream and have fits. Let them. Watch them. Breathe. It’s so appropriate that thoughts are drawn as little fluffy clouds.. POOF!! Gone. Thoughts are ideas. They don’t have power unless you let them.
